


Turnabout is Fair Play

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble, Established Relationship, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-21
Updated: 2011-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-06 19:38:16
Rating: Teen & Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8766298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Sam's thoughts coda ep 6.14; this is some rambling I was thinking on at the end of the episode. I can sort of identify with Sam with the way he'll pick a point apart to the nth degree.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

Sam’s POV

 

I stood there for a minute just a mere moment in time totally stunned, what do the Brits call it, oh yeah gobsmacked. Dean was under the hood of his baby, I swear that cars gonna give birth to little deanmobiles one day consider the number of times he must’ve fucked it when he was doing me. But Dean was under the hood, tightening a bolt on the water pump when I walked up with a beer. We were having just well not necessarily nice conversation but needed. 

 

I screwed up, I went back to a hunting ground we’d been at before and ended up scratching at that wall. I hope I didn’t piss my pants too badly when I did that, but man what an insane rush and not a good one. There were things that happened to me I can never tell Dean, because frankly, I don’t believe them myself. Dean said I was only out a minute or three, but it was a week on my end. I’m still not sure what I experienced and don’t really want to know if it could be true. All I know for sure it, if that was Hell, I’ll be a good boy from now on.

 

I just gotta keep telling myself that the wall is firm the wall is stable. And make myself believe it at the same time. But in truth I guess turnabout is fair play, after all the badgering I’ve done to Dean over the years to talk about his feelings, then when he comes to me to talk about how I felt, I pretty much clammed up. I didn’t want to admit to what I’d seen, heard, felt, or smelt. If I never smell sulphur again it’ll be too soon, but there’s no way I can get around that one. It’s going to happen, that’s a given in this job. But I don’t want to ever visit that part of my mind again. If it means praying to a God I marginally believe in, I’ll do it. 

 

We stared at each other a long moment , unsure of what to say much less what to feel. I’ve always been that way around Dean though. I love him intensely, and yet there’s parts of him to me are unexplored country. As a result everytime we do have a heart to heart, which isn’t that often, I tend to unearth new treasures. The one I think I’ll keep in my heart the most is the look he gave me when I told him that I couldn’t remember what happened and I didn’t want to remember. It was one of those combination looks, one of fear and love. Only the love he was exhibiting was deeper and more profound that just brotherly love. And of course he had to be careful where he let that look out at, there were some places it was safe, out here in the middle of Bobby’s lot was one of those places, at least without Bobby around. 

 

I watched him a long moment and thought to myself again for the thousandth time how sexy he looked when he drank a beer. Something that simple could turn into something that hot. Moreso now that I was whole, I was me, and he was responsible for that. He was responsible for turning me back into me rather than that imitation of life. That’s something I’ll forever be grateful for, I’m just afraid, I’m so afraid of what will happen the day that wall comes crashing down. And somehow I see that happening and frankly that scares me more than the flashbacks I had of the asshole I was. And now here I am out here on the back lot standing with him talking about this and getting more turned on by the second. It’s going to happen again and it’s going to be soon, I’m going to jump his bones like a starving man. Only I want to try and hold off a bit, otherwise it’ll look like a desperation fuck, although part of my mind is saying that’s exactly what it is. The other part of my mind is going, “damn it boy but you’re rambling.”


	2. Chapter 2

Dean’s POV

 

I heard him approaching but I wanted to get this last bolt on the water pump tightened down before I came up for air. We talked and yeah, I have to admit to myself that he scared the everloving holy shit out of me when he had that slight bump with the wall. That was something I definitely couldn’t hang with. 

 

Oh God, I can believe I’m about to tear up, shit, gotta get hold of my emotions. This is just wrong on so many levels for me, but we talk, he actually turned me down when I tried to get him to open up. The same guy who for years spent his free time psychoanalyzing me. Now he wants my opinion, my thoughts and at the same time I guess I want him to return the favour for once and trust me. Let it be like the old days before the world went to hell in a hand cart. 

 

I love the guy, that God I can admit that to myself and a few, very few select others, but I love him with an intensity that scares me sometimes. I remember him lying there on the floor in that abandoned house we shacked in. I thought he was dead, or worse in a coma or some shit like that. Then his eyes finally opened and for a moment his eyes were flecked with golds and reds, then it was gone. 

 

He was only out a few minutes but to me it seemed like hours and to him he said it was like a week. So judging from my time in Hell, it would seem that the connection between time here and there is extremely elastic. I’ve got to try to keep upbeat though, gotta strive for that high road for a change. And really how hard could that be, I’ve got my Sammy back, my real Sammy. Being upbeat is easy when I seem him smile, God this sounds so girlie, but he has the sexiest smile that should be illegal to be on anyone’s face. 

 

But we have to play it reasonably cool, I mean to the rest of the hunters were just a couple of brothers out on the hunt. But behind those motel doors, it’s so much more. And there are times out in public that it’s everything I can do not to reach out to him in a more familiar way than just brothers. Well it is now anyway. After all that we’ve come through … I’ve got it so bad for him.


End file.
